No matter how many times I tell myself I’m done, I fail myself. It gets pretty exhausting after awhile. The excuses, one after another. The lies when I know the truth already. and the many girls I feel like I have to compete with just for you. And all the hurt I’m feeling. I’m exhausted, mentally and emotionally drained. I wanna be done, I want my heart to stop feeling like this, I want an escape. Fuck love, it always seems to fuck me all up.. Over.. And over… And over again.
I’ve always tried to convince myself that I wouldn’t fall, but somewhere between those phone calls, texts, hang outs, hugs, hiking adventure and bubbly tea dates… I fell, and as much as it might hurt, I find myself falling a little more. It sucks soo bad.
01. showers even if they were just for less than five minutes
02. Food other than MREs
03. PortaJohns that were less than 1/4 of a mile away
05. Babywipes for days out in the field
06. Gatornecks due to bad sand storms in fort Irwin
08. Duty free days
09. Charades while in the field ‘waiting’