I thought I was over you, I could’ve sworn I’ve moved on. but lately, every little thing reminds me of you. I compare every guy to you, but they don’t come close. seeing you live your dream out there, yes I’m happy for you and I’m happy with where I am in life too. But I miss you, I miss everything we had… I still remember this exact time last year, I still remember it all. the late nights, the movie dates, basketball games, those jokes that only we understood, the adventures, everything. these “what ifs” drive me crazy, but what if?
thanks for the high recommendation sergeant, this opportunity would mean the world to me right now. no high-hopes, no guarantee… just fingers crossed! :)
if someone tries to change you, don’t do it. if they really do love you, they’d accept you for who you are. they’d look past every flaw and remind themselves just how much they want you to stay in their life. but constantly trying to change you? its not even worth it. changing because someone isn’t satisfied with the way you are isn’t even worth anything. changing without putting yourself first is like losing yourself. stay true, stay you.. and if thats not enough, they dont deserve someone like you. remember that!
martin: Morris, can you teach me how to be ghetto?
Morris: bitch… I ain’t even ghetto!
me: … Mhm, you actually are!
Morris: fuck you Cruz, you Bitch!
me: ouch, that actually hurt 😒
i miss you, it happens everytime but what we have is a never-ending circle and i need an escape. as much as i really do love you and all the great memories we’ve had within the past three years of meeting, i cant keep putting myself into this situation. i cant go on being “the other girl”, i need someone who wants me and only me. i hate having to feel like im in competition when i know just what the outcome will be. we both need to let those feelings fade, we both need to let us go, i need change. i tell myself this everytime, but for once… im definite im one step closer than i was yesterday. here’s to realizing my worth and putting myself first for once <3
"cruz. you have guys who like you yet you dont even care to give them a chance.. why?"
my life’s a mess. i must be happy with myself first before finding happiness with someone. there was this guy, who i loved with every part of my being, and he took little pieces of me. when he left, i never really got them back so im building on from whats left. noone understands how i feel and everything that floods my mind, so i keep to myself. give it time, ill get there. surely, im closer than i was yesterday. im getting there.
chism: dude guys, you missed it… you shouldve seen cruz with her hair down and all. i was like “damn, look at that hair! “
aiona: yeah, damn look at that hair… she needs to brush it or something! but dont worry cruz, we’ll get you one this weekend!
me: … SHITBAGS!
(bahah, there was never a dull moment with my guys… i miss them)